Why We Don’t Allow Ourselves Joy?

Helen Keller said, “Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” Yet, so often I encounter people who feel guilty about feelings of joy. Some common hurdles to joy include: 1. Feelings of guilt; the faulty thinking that for some reason you don’t deserve joy. This might be because you know others are struggling or because of messages given to you in the past. 2. Fear; the faulty fear that the minute you experience joy, it will be taken away, or worse yet; that you will be punished by something bad happening. 3. The belief that joy is not attainable, not really a true emotion that can be experienced. This usually occurs after years of pushing joy away because of reasons one and two.

So the truth about joy is that you need it in your life. And yes, it is okay to be joyful, even when you know others are struggling. In fact, your joy can actually lift others out of their struggle and demonstrate that there are better days ahead. And in the past you may have been joyful and experienced another person, who was not emotionally healthy, shoot you down for the simple fact of being happy. People who are struggling with their own demons will do this, and it hurts. It’s okay to recognize that they were wrong to do that and allow yourself to move on. Then there is fear, the fear that something bad will happen. Well, generally in life, bad things do happen. Joy actually safeguards you from losing yourself in worry and anxiety about what is around the next corner. Joy teaches you that even when bad things happen there are better days ahead. Joy strengthens you from within and builds resiliency. So please, open your heart and let joy in. The softness of a baby’s skin, the smell of Fall in the air, the overwhelming sound of a Gospel choir. Joy is waiting for you, right around the corner.